A New Year...

Happy New Year!

I feel I have been hibernating. It seems that my new year is lagging a bit behind the calendar. Yet I am so very excited about the new year. As a country we are blessed with a great human being for president-elect. Maybe my year will begin after inauguration. Yes, that is when it will start. Actually, it will start with my next menstrual cycle. I am PMSing. Women will understand why I don't care to start my new year until that begins. I have always loved having a "cycle." It gives us a tangible marker to begin anew. I digress...

I am outspokin... I did not finish the ride last October. As I drove down to Columbia, I felt a heavy sinking grief. It felt like I was driving to a wake. And I realized too, that this was not my ride to finish. Symbolically, yes. In reality, no. My mother's side of the family buried two members this past year and I was not ready to feel that sense of loss again. (Uncle Ray and Aunt Frankie). At every funeral you feel the weight of everyone you have ever lost. It all comes back. In the past 4 years, I have also lost my Daddy, a very dear Aunt, and a coworker who was once a frined. Every mile felt heavier and darker. It felt like my throat was closing up. So, I drove past the restaurant where the riders were meeting. I pulled in a parking lot just past the restaurant. I realized I was not riding that day. I asked myself, if Lee Ann or Tom were alive today, what would they do? The answer was clear. They would be home with their families, not on a ride with people they did not know. I drove back home after making a stop at Dunkin Donuts and took the treats home to my family. I was never so happy to be home. I sat and enjoyed the sound of the voices of my dear ones and was warm and safe and knew I was right where I belonged...

Wish List

I wish you could have been there
for the sun & the rain & the long, hard hills.
For the sound of a thousand conversations
scattered along the road.
For the people laughing & crying
& remembering at the end.

But mainly, I wish you could have been there.

"Wish List" by Brian Andreas

Finish the Ride

This Saturday, a group of cyclists will ride in honor of two fallen cyclists in particular, and all fallen cyclists, in general. We are riding for Tom Hoskins and Lee Ann Barry who were killed last October 21 as they were on the last leg of a ride across America raising money and awareness for brain injury victims. They were only about 40 miles from home. So we will finish the ride for them. I will also be riding for Daniella Izqueirdo who died from injuries received in the Six Gap ride in Georgia this past September. We will ride from Columbia, SC to Charlotte, NC. From a Cracker Barrel to a Church. Tom's grown children will ride with us as well as Lee Ann's husband and son. I am honored to be a part of this. It will be sobering and somber. Yet, it will be inspiring to witness and be a part of the love and connection between cyclists. Not often do you get to do a ride that feels like a pilgrimage or a holy ride, but as I sit here the day before Finish the Ride, it feels like that. Feels a little like a celebration of life mixed in with a funeral procession. I feel a sense of deep sadness and yet honor for being one of the cyclists who will go and finish the ride. I did not know Lee Ann or Tom personally. I have gotten to know a little bit about them since their death. It is much the same way with the cyclist from Florida. Creepy really. It is like if I learn a little about them then they are not really gone. I love my "Wish List" jersey. It is so appropriate for this.